Things Women Need to Learn About Love

One night a famous actress was performing and received a note from her

best friend who was dying. The note said, "A bell's not a bell till you ring it.

A song is not a song till you sing it. Love in your heart is not put there to

stay. Love isn't love till you give it away." She wanted so badly to be with

her dying friend but couldn't. After the performance many people rushed

back to the stage crying, "We never saw such a wonderful performance

before!" Blinking back with tears, she said, "Because, tonight I gave my love away!"

Dear readers, love isn't love until you give it away. How do you give love away?

Try the following steps:

1. Let Go of Your Tenseness.

Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection.

Know who you really are. You feel insecure, you get angry, you want to vent your anger, and you have doubts. Try to understand yourself. It is OK to be

vulnerable. It is common for women to project their faults on their husbands, especially when they are frustrated. Tell your mate you have needs. Your willingness to reveal your weakness will enable him to protect you.

2. Let Go of Your Vindication

Practice forgiveness to yourself as well as to those around you. Have a wide

heart, not narrow-mindedness. Since there is not a perfect soul in this world, why search for flawlessness in people? There is a wise saying, "Judge not or you will be judged." For example, when you judge your spouse, you limit your confidence in him and thus he cease to become a better person. This in turn will become a vicious circle which can make you miserable and ultimately destroy your marriage.

3. Let Go of Your Goods

Be a Giver and not a Taker. We women are good at collecting things, especially beautiful things. Soon we have clutters around the house. We

teach our children to give, but we need to set examples for them. Try to get in the habit of giving. For example, if you have clothes, shoes, dishes, utensils or furniture extra that you haven't used in a year, give them to those who have dire needs of them. Giving is a sure sign of loving.

I have a lovely garden. I noticed that some trees produce abundant fruits while others of the same specie do not. One year we had a bad drought. When I dug up the dead tree I noticed its shallow roots. The tree that lived had deep roots. This reminds me of love in a marriage. It takes time and effort to build up love; the more you give the more you'll receive. Love takes root and grows-one day at a time.

Dr. Jane Pan